Playing Games

By Miss Adventure

I have to say that when it comes to dating, life can be confusing. There is so much information and advice out there - plenty that is unsolicited too! Everyone has their own philosophy and they believe it is the right philosophy. Think about how many books are out there on this subject! If you don't do it this way, then you won't get a date...or he won't call you back...or you'll scare him off. Make sure you play hard to get so he'll be interested and you don't look desperate. Always let the guy approach you because that's the way it's meant to be, but then you hear how guys like girls that are confident and knows what she wants. Also, I've had discussions with guys that say how hard it is to ask a girl out, guys have insecurities too, don't be too hard on them, etc.

So, I am doing the internet dating thing because as we discussed earlier, where else do you find men? Since the internet seems to be just about the only place I get dates, I have stuck to that. This is the second time now, though, where a guy has asked if we could get together on that day - he has not given me much notice. Both have prefaced it with they know it's last minute, etc. Now, most of the advice I have heard is to say no, otherwise you'll look too easy or desperate. But, let's face it, most of us who live in the OC have busy lives. For me, a lot of times when I've tried to schedule dates with guys it can be hard to find a good day that works with both of our schedules. So, if I happen to be available for a last minute meeting, I feel like the only reason I'm saying no is because of other people's advice on the "rules". I feel like I'm lying and playing a game - a game of manipulation. I am not a manipulative person, I like to play by my own rules because it's what makes sense to me and is true to myself. Part of that is I can be fairly spontaneous. I'm more often a last minute person in making plans.

This brings me to question, how much do I stay true to who I am and expect a guy to accept me that way (and if he doesn't, believe that he is not the right person for me)? Or, how much do I play by the "rules" so that I can bait and hook a guy so he can then get to know the real me? Now, I would never think it's right to be totally insincere or untrue to yourself, but some of this is like going to an interview. You have to be aware of first impressions and how they affect people.

All this leads me to one conclusion...dating can be awfully confusing!