About Loving Yourself

By Miss Adventure

From C.S. Lewis' Screwtape Letters

"The Enemy [God] wants him, in the end, to be so free from any bias in his own favour that he can rejoice in his own talents as frankly and gratefully as in his neighbour's talents - or in a sunrise, an elephant, or a waterfall. He wants each man, in the long run, to be able to recognise all creatures (even himself) as a glorious and excellent things. He wants to kill their animal self-love as soon as possible; but it is His long-term policy, I fear, to restore to them a new kind of self-love - a charity and gratitude for all selves, including their own; when they have really learned to love their neighbours as themselves, they will be allowed to love themselves as their neighbors."

There is so much in this book with which I can relate that it's scary! It's almost as if C.S. Lewis looked into my mind and wrote this book! When I read this passage, I thought, this is a blog for women. Really, everyone struggles with self and self-esteem; both men and women. As a woman who struggles with the concept of self and then in return, self esteem, I wanted to speak with other women about this. It's such an important dialogue for us - we need to understand we are not alone in our feelings and also that there are lies and tricks Satan uses to bring us down. The more we recognize this, the stronger we can grow.

I think that many of us struggle with our concept of self - who am I? What good am I? What makes me special? At what am I good? We may or may not be aware of our weaknesses - either we dwell on them or we ignore them (and some of us have what our weaknesses and strengths are all wrong!). I like to know what I am good at doing, but then I feel like I am bragging or being prideful if I acknowledge it, so instead my tendency growing up was to avoid acknowledging it.

God created us to be excellent, unique creatures with different strengths that can be used together as the body of Christ for the good of all mankind and to bring glory to him. We should be rejoicing in that - but rejoicing just as much in others as we do for ourselves. Too often we get this part wrong - we either rejoice too much in our own or too little in our own. It's quite funny how in order to make ourselves feel better we usually start pointing out the weaknesses of others.

I love that Lewis points out that when we are really able to love our neighbors, then we can begin to love ourselves. I see that as the ultimate concept of a healthy self-esteem which enables us to have a healthy sense of self. That, I believe, is when we really can work together as the body of Christ. That is why Satan wants us to believe the lies - either lies about ourselves or lies about others. The less we work together, the more selfish and defensive we are, the less work we can accomplish.

One of my favorite verses is found in Philippians 4:10-13:

¹⁰I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. ¹¹I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹²I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I think once you learn to be content - content with who God made you to be, content with the circumstances that He allowed you to be in - knowing He is there to take care of you and make things come together for His good - that contentment helps fight jealousy or envy. Instead, love for your neighbor is an easier reality. In return, love for yourself and who God made you to be is also easier.

Not that I think we as humans reach this lofty goal every day. For me, some days are better than others. Sometimes in my life, or some areas of my life, it is easier to be content and feel good about myself. Other times, it's not so easy. It's a daily work, a need for a constant reminder, but as verse 13 says, "I can do all things through him who gives me strength.